Writing Your Wedding Vows

Wedding vows are a promise you make to each other. All weddings from every culture and faith have traditions in how the ceremony is performed. and this includes your vows.

If you are planning a religious or civil ceremony using vows which have been passed down with tradition has its charms.

If you are to marry in a church, talk to your celebrant about the vows that he has. Read them and pick the one which is most suited to you.

If you do decide to write your own vows check with the celebrant first, never assume that you can change any part of the ceremony including the wedding vows

If he agrees to let you write your wedding vows, sit down with each other and decide on what you want to say. To help you write your wedding vows you should look at some reference books (to find these you can try your local library, book store or internet).

The wedding vows can be used in the wedding as your personal words to your partner, on invitations, as readings in the ceremony, on the order of service or even as a toast.

If you are to write your own wedding vows don’t leave it to the last minute, give yourself plenty of time. Make a deadline and have your wedding vows ready, at least three weeks before the wedding.

Picutre of a wedding ceremony site.
You and your partner need to take the time to think about what you want to say to each other (this could be done together or individually). Pick a quite place where you will not be disturbed and think about the things that are important to you.

Before you start, ask yourself the following:

  • Is tradition important to both of you?
  • Do you want the vows to be spontaneous and in the moment?
  • Do you want to include readings and poems that have special meaning to you?

Read some sample vows to give you ideas, you may find one that you like and only want to change a few words of the vow, or you may want to add more.

To make things easy on the wedding day, write your vows clearly on a piece of paper or card. Take it with you to the ceremony and have the bridesmaid and best man look after these for you just in case you have a mental block during the ceremony

If you are unable to change the vows ask the celebrant if you could say some special words to each other either before or after the exchanging of the rings.

Words to Help You Get Started

Listed below are some words to help you get started:

  • Grow old along with me the best is yet to be. - Robert Browning
  • That this peace may last forever, and our hands be clasped more closely and our hearts be more united. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
  • Thank you for saying you’ll have me, thank you for changing my life, thank you for being my lover, thank you for being my wife. - Unknown
  • Even though your love is more precious to me than any gold or jewel, accept this ring as a sign of our marriage and a symbol of our everlasting love. - Unknown
  • Love is a fruit in season at all times and within reach of every hand. - Mother Teresa
  • Hand in hand as we stood beneath the shadows of the wood. Heart to heart as we lay in the dawning to the day. - Robert Bridges
  • You are my wife, my feet shall run because of you, my feet dance because of you, my heart shall beat because of you, my eyes see because of you, my mind thinks because of you, and I shall love because of you. - Eskimo marriage song
  • From this day forward, you shall not walk alone, my heart will be your shelter, and my arms will be your home. - Unknown
  • I lie down with thee, I rise up with thee. - Aztec Love Song
  • I add my breath to your breath. That our days may be long on the earth. That the days of our people may be long. That we may be one person. That we may finish our roads together. May our mother bless you with life. May our paths be fulfilled. - Keres Indian Song
  • From this day forward, you shall not walk alone. My heart will be you shelter, and my arms will be your home. - Unknown
  • To say the words “love and compassion” is easy. But to accept that love and compassion are built upon patience and perseverance is not easy. -Traditional Buddhist Teaching
  • When you come home with good news, I will welcome it. When you come home with bad news, I will share it. When you come home with no news, will you listen to mine? - Unknown
  • I take you now and for always, for always is always now. - Philip Larkin
  • Shared joy is double joy. Shared sorrow is half a sorrow. - Proverb